Saturday, September 27, 2008

Facing the Devil

I have a problem. That's the first step to getting a solution right? Admitting that you have a problem. It better be, because I have no idea how I am going to deal with this if it's not.

I arrived at Rhodes with a brief idea of this thing I shall call the devil, for now. I had not downloaded it myself, or as people say , "I was not 'on' it yet. I managed to go through the first term without it and I remained sane, but when I finally did get it, all hell broke loose. I would wake up earlier than usual in the morning(bear in mind, that the Godmother is in love with her sleep), just to make time before my lectures to check my inbox, reply the messages and change the status to let "the world" know how I was feeling that day. Now a day cannot pass without me logging in to check the latest added pictures, who is not in a relationship anymore, who is now and the status of whoever it is I'm keeping tabs on during that period. It is crazy. There have been nights when I have a four page essay to hand in and believe it or not, am online. Ask me what I am doing and I can hardly ever say. It gets so bad sometimes I use it as an incentive to work. I will work tirelessly for an hour and then take a five minute(sometimes this is extended to fifty) break on it.

If you haven't guessed by now, I will tell you, much to my shame-I AM A FACEBOOK ADDICT. If I never understood how people addicted to drugs or alcohol feel, I do now. One convinces them self that they need "it" to carry on with normal life, forgetting that they got along just fine without it. I convinced myself that this was the only way I could keep in touch with friends and family. It is after all "a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them".

So now, it's "crunch time" again. Exams' ugly face is drawing nearer and I cannot afford to be wasting time I could be using to study, sitting in front of a computer screen, "keeping in touch with the world."

So now, I face this devil, and ask myself if I will be able to survive if I deactivate the account. God forbid I lose touch with all my friends.I have come to the conclusion that if it had not been Facebook it would have been something else. Online chatting, clubbing, smoking, drinking, My Space. The devil lies in everything, trying to keep you away from going for your dreams. He just had to choose Facebook in my case.

I will keep you posted as to whether I managed to deactivate the account or at least stay offline. Maybe I should just start a FA(Facebook Annonymous) group. I know I am not alone in this.

1 comment:

Andy said...

Wow! I think addiction is a bit of a strong word to use in this context, anyway I do get what you are trying to say. I sometimes find myself up past two o'clock facebooking. But I guess it is an issue of self controll. I was on Hi5 before facebook, but I can always distance myself from both when I want or rather when I need to like during exam time. Either way we all in need to stay connected, just dont disconnect from the realities of life, the fact that we need to balance everything we do.