Dear Gratitude “sisterhood”
I have been missing you lately and I think missing home too much takes me back to the way I was at the beginning of the year. Mom tells me you are thinking of coming here next year so I thought I should warn you about a few things that you might come across. You might feel pressure to step out of your own character. You might also feel like something’s that you do are for the best when they actually aren’t.
In the beginning of the year I used to feel the need to have someone in my life, to feel the empty and lonely space. The need to find the person that could erase loneliness and get rid of the anxiety caused by home. But the truth is, no-one can erase all those memories of being home. So I had to find another way to deal with all the anxiety. My sub-warden said I was home-sick and that there was no need to worry because it happens to many people. Home-sickness is that ache that keeps you up at night and your heart feels hollow and you don’t know how to handle it. You feel down, you want to cry and you just want to be alone. It helps being around people but I found that music works for me. If you ever find yourself in the same situation just know that you aren’t alone. Don’t go looking for love from other people because you will only end up with a broken heart. Rather be yourself and know that you have people that love you, even though you cant see them.
I hope to see u soon, please don’t forget to write back when u have time!
I love you
Dianne
I have been missing you lately and I think missing home too much takes me back to the way I was at the beginning of the year. Mom tells me you are thinking of coming here next year so I thought I should warn you about a few things that you might come across. You might feel pressure to step out of your own character. You might also feel like something’s that you do are for the best when they actually aren’t.
In the beginning of the year I used to feel the need to have someone in my life, to feel the empty and lonely space. The need to find the person that could erase loneliness and get rid of the anxiety caused by home. But the truth is, no-one can erase all those memories of being home. So I had to find another way to deal with all the anxiety. My sub-warden said I was home-sick and that there was no need to worry because it happens to many people. Home-sickness is that ache that keeps you up at night and your heart feels hollow and you don’t know how to handle it. You feel down, you want to cry and you just want to be alone. It helps being around people but I found that music works for me. If you ever find yourself in the same situation just know that you aren’t alone. Don’t go looking for love from other people because you will only end up with a broken heart. Rather be yourself and know that you have people that love you, even though you cant see them.
I hope to see u soon, please don’t forget to write back when u have time!
I love you
Dianne
8 comments:
What you said about home sickness is so true. Every individual goes through it and although I did not mention it myself in my own letter, I did touch on the fact that you are not alone when you go to university.
Everybody comes to university leaving some form of home behind, except for those local few.
All we have to do is to learn not to shut ourselves away from the world. However, sometimes it is not being around people that make you happy, sometimes it can be something like music.
The point is to find what makes you happy without doing it alone; moments are not created by the individual, but by a group of individuals together.
Your letter to your younger self is quite emotional and could get those that thought that they were not homesick to realise that they were or are. The story you relate about what it is to be homesick and how you dealt with it is inspirational advice for others that are still battling with homesickness, I heard that it takes time to go away. It relates to my letter in that home- sickness is under the list of reasons for that might hav lead to my non-existent first year spread. Your letter is more poignant and it is great to see that there are people out there that encourage self love in a place like Rhodes where relationships are the must have accessory.
Hi Dianne
Reading your post on homesickness made me feel so much less alone. It feels good to know that someone else feels the way that I do. If I think back to all the nights and days that I spent locked up in my room crying, almost going crazy with unhappiness and homesickness, I remember thinking that I was the only one who felt this way and that people would think I was strange if I told them about it! Part of my problem was that I did not have someone at Rhodes to fill that empty space you were talking about. But through my involvement in societies and varsity life, I have made some great friends who are starting to fill and heal that gap and help to fight off the homesickness beastie. I really hope that the same happens for you! All the best...
Gabi
http://talesfromarhodent.blogspot.com/
I know exactly how you feel Di, but I do believe that us Cantbs stick together in these hard times and you will notice that the poem that i posted speaks of the Grahamstown experience and basically how one has come to what I refer to as an "island".In life, one must always know that change is an inevitable factor and that largely contributes to the pressure we experience as young adults.I love you buddy, stay real.www.survivalofthewittest-jax.blogspot.com
Zamo
I know exactly how you feel Di, but I do believe that us Cantbs stick together in these hard times and you will notice that the poem that i posted speaks of the Grahamstown experience and basically how one has come to what I refer to as an "island".In life, one must always know that change is an inevitable factor and that largely contributes to the pressure we experience as young adults.I love you buddy, stay real.www.survivalofthewittest-jax.blogspot.com
Zamo
Dianne you nailed it. I honestly think that you know exactly what you are talking about, which explains why you prefer being alone most of the time. I really didn't understand why at times you would be all happy and the next day you have your earphones on and you don't say a word.
We all go through that phase in life, and for some of us it happens more often than others. I know you don't know me, and we as people just tend to judge each other from a distance, but you hit it rock on.
Thanks for keeping it real.
PS: I love your playlist selection
Yo Di,the more I think about your letter, the more I understand the idea of homesicknesses.I know at times it may seem as though those of us with tough exteriors don't have any feelings but i definately understand where you're coming from. This whole notion of University is meant to capture and intrigue us and people fail to tell us that University is,in fact, a really scary place.One of the thing I am ever so greatful for is the fact that through these experiences, I have come to know wonderful people such as yourself.
Friendship is a vitality and without friends, I don't think any of us would have made it through this year..
Zamo
a fellow Cantab
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